Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Just say no...

Sometimes I think I must have been smokin' dope the day I relented and agreed to have children.

I remember what it was like when I still had a brain before. Dave and I used to scoff at those horrible moms in Walmart shrieking at their demon spawn precious little angels in public. We had all kinds of opinions on what these women were doing wrong, cuz "it's just not that hard to raise a polite, law-abiding member of society. No kid of ours would EVER act like that and certainly not in public."

We were idiots.

I would now like to apologize to the following:

1. My two closest friends out West. I judged you the most. Please forgive me.
1. The lady in Dollar General. So sorry. I would have been glad to pick it all up.
2. The teachers at preschool. You are my heroes. Please don't kick us out.
3. All Target and Publix shoppers. We'll meet again this weekend, I'm sure. My sincerest regrets in advance.
4. The people who have to sit in front and behind us at church. Next week it will be your turn. Need some Cheerios?
5. My mom. While they aren't just like me (I was just great) it really isn't as easy as I thought it was. Sorry for doubting you.

and finally...

I am so very very sorry to my own demon spawn. Mothering is hard, and sometimes I really suck at it. Love you anyway.


  1. AMEN, to everything you just said!!! We all have our good and bad days, huh?

  2. Yup, yup, and yup. Mothering is really hard and some days I'm not very good at it either! Thank goodness they seem to love us anyway.

  3. Wow. So it is true. All of my worst fears have been confirmed. I wonder if it's too late to go become a monk...

  4. Yes, dear Danithius, I believe your lovely wife would take issue with you becoming a monk. Good idea though.


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