Monday, May 24, 2010

April Fool's Day Ended My Son

Who came up with April Fool's Day anyhow? How many stupid and annoying pranks do people try (and usually fail) to pull on you on April 1st? Every year someone inevitably tries to get me. Never ever has it worked before. How can you expect to fool someone on the day officially set apart for fooling someone? Like I'm gonna believe anything you say to me until the 2nd. Really.

I'd just gotten off the phone with the latest failed prank attempt (Sorry Mama. I'll believe you've won the lottery when you move Daddy into his own house in the back yard) April Fool's was fresh on my mind, the last thing on my lips when my son came in from the bus with the gravest most worried expression I've seen on him for a while. He immediately gained my attention when he said to me, "Mom, /big sigh I have a note from my teacher she said I have to give it you as soon as I got home." He very slowly pulled out this official document from the school, took a step back and started studying his shoes.

I knew something was up. I knew I wasn't going to like it. I was right. It was the discipline form they send out when children do something horrible at school. The kids in this class have a colored card system. They stay on green if nothing goes awry. They pull them generally one at a time for behavior problems. Pulling a green is basically a small reprimand. Yellow means they lose significant privileges. Pulling a red is quite serious, and generally the principal and sometimes even higher authorities must get involved. The letters are mostly generic. The kid's name is filled in, and the disobedient kid must fill in the blank in their own writing what they did wrong. The form went something like this. "Today, your child, Samuel Purdon pulled a red card for...slapping Sophie in the face (written by Sam).

My heart began to pound. My hands began to sweat. My stomach lurched in my gut. My boy took another step back. I just knew this day would come when he finally showed the world his defiant side, the one nobody believes that angelic face capable of. But never did I expect something so horrible. As I looked him in the eye, I saw very real terror cross his face when he got a look at mine. That child looked at me and saw his death on my face, and believe you me. It was there. He ripped that letter out of my hand as fast as he could shrieking April Fool's April Fool's over and over at me as he ripped the top page off with shaking little hands to show an additional page- a silly little picture they'd taken of him in Groucho glasses with April Fool's written all over it.

It took me hours to shake it. That gut-wrenching feeling and utter bewilderment. I felt so dumb. I was so totally snowed. In my 35 years of life, no one has ever gotten me. Until now. My 6-year boy.

I hate April Fool's Day.


  1. Oh that is too funny! Sounds like he had help from the teacher though. :-)

  2. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. You are AMAZING.


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