And thus it begins

I am one of the world's unluckiest people. If there is something horrible on a restaurant menu, I will order it. If there is a bee in the room, it will sting me. Toilet paper will undoubtably attach itself to my shoe, and it always rains when I'm wearing my glasses. I'm a trainwreck, really. It's not my fault. My life, I believe, is one big joke of the great Cosmic Thumb. What, never heard of it?

Let me explain.

The Cosmic Thumb belongs to the great tormentor of the universe. He sits around bored all day watching us peons down below just struggling to survive. He decides maybe he could have a little fun at our expense. We're just gnats after all, so down comes the thumb pressing onto the forehead of some unsuspecting little person just going about daily life. See how she squirms...watch how she gets up again and again. Dumb little gnat can't even see what's knocking her down. The Thumb follows random unfortunates around just to see how long the fun can last.

I'm kidding....kinda.

I am one of these unfortunates. The craziest stuff happens to me. A lot. I talk about it incessantly to my husband, usually when he's desperately trying to go to sleep. He claims I'm intelligent, opinionated, funny, and quite frankly....wierd (Hmmm. Can't argue with that),but that I should speak up when life happens. This has proven difficult for me in the past, but I really think I should speak my mind. (How else can I take over the world?) I shouldn't bottle up my thoughts and feelings. I think that what he really means is that he's tired of me chewing his ear off and wants me to start chattering at other less tired people.

Anyway, it's a challenge. I am a total mess. I trip and stumble and very often fall flat on my face. Might as well blog about it. Maybe it'll be easier to pick myself up ,laugh, and move on. What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll give it the ole college try, and should you start snoring I promise I won't try to smother you with my pillow.

Is there a thumb-print on my forehead?